They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
