my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
