I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
