She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
He felt like a one man threesome
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
