My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
