..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
