your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
