I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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