I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
