due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
