Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
