I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
should my penis look like a turkey
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Randomize
