I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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