just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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