Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize