woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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