After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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