Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
not ubering you a puppy
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