So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
