therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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