even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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