I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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