You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You ruined the universe
Randomize
