Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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