i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
The Olympian is in my bed
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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