i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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