people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize