She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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