Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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