i think i have two assholes
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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