By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
The air taste purple.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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