that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
