He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
