You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
