Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
