Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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