you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Also, beer. Big fan.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize