If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
