Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize