The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
