We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
4 words: hood of his car
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
