his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
