she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
