Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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