In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
