carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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