Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
