I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Need sex. Gaining weight.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
