It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
