So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
