dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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