So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
