Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
