if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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