so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
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