just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
