waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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