The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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