Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
