I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
