It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Come on in and take your pants off
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