at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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