We need to rekindle our bromance
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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