They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
