Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
