Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
