eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
