Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
