So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
