If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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