she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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